Just for fun--a Snow White/Harry Potter parody (Part 1)

As you probably know already, I LOVE fairy tales and its retellings. So here's a wacky little fanfiction I wrote waaaaay before I started creating my own original stories. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you Snow White, Harry Potter style:


Once upon a time, there was a wizard kingdom ruled by a powerful wizard queen—Voldemort. Since the late king died, the queen ruled the kingdom with a tyrannical hand. He was so proud and stuck-up that no one was allowed to say his name, so the people of the kingdom usually called him You-know-who or He-who-must-not-be-named. Queen Voldemort's only living relative was Princess Harry, but he didn't like the boy, who was the result of the late king and his affair with a Muggle. No matter how mighty Voldemort was, he was unable to bear children, so he hated Princess Harry with all his heart. But he hid his hatred very well, because he didn't want the people in his kingdom to discover the late king's Muggle affair.

Queen Voldemort had a magic mirror in which an ugly female face with huge spectacles would appear whenever he looked in it. Voldemort's favorite pastime was to look into the mirror and ask, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most powerful wizard of them all?" And the mirror always replied, "You, Queen Voldemort." That would make Voldemort very happy, because he knew the people feared but disliked him, so the mirror's reply was a great ego boost.

One day when Queen Voldemort got up and asked the mirror for the millionth time, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most powerful wizard of them all?" Today the mirror replied, "You, Queen Voldemort." Voldemort was pleased and was about to leave when the mirror continued, "However, when I was doing a horoscope chart yesterday, I found an unhappy prospect lying in your path.…"

Voldemort was greatly irritated and shrieked, "What do you mean?" The mirror sighed heavily and said, "In the future, Princess Harry will cause your tragic downfall…"

Voldemort was stunned. "What, that midget in glasses is going to cause my downfall?" He flung open the windows of his bedroom and saw Princess Harry picking flowers in the royal garden. Voldemort laughed. It's all too easy.

Queen Voldemort was ready to act. He called for the largest man in his service—Hagrid the Hunter—and ordered him to take Princess Harry into the Forbidden Forest behind the palace and kill him. "Do not return until you bring his heart and liver to me." Hagrid bowed and taking his big pink umbrella, he left.

Hagrid went to the royal garden and found Princess Harry singing happily while zooming among the flower beds on his Firebolt, searching for a very rare species—the Golden Snitch. He felt very sad, pink umbrella in hand, because this sweet, cute little princess had no idea that death was so near. With a heavy heart, he told the princess to follow him to the Forbidden Forest.

"But the queen said no one can enter the forest!" Princess Harry said in surprise.

"Well, she gave me permission."

"But…I've heard there are huge spiders and a three-head dog and…"

"Stay close to me and yer won' be afraid."

So Princess Harry went with Hagrid the Hunter to the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid was about to bring his pink umbrella down on Harry's head, when suddenly the princess gave a yell and turned around, with the most radiant, innocent smile on his face. He had found the uncommon Golden Snitch Flower. When he saw Hagrid standing before him with his pink umbrella in the air, Princess Harry shuddered and backed away. "What…what are you doing?" he stammered.

Suddenly Hagrid broke out crying and fell on his knees. The pink umbrella had dropped on the ground, crushing a few slugs. "Forgive me, princess." He wailed. "The queen told me to kill yer…but I can't do it…I can't…"

Princess Harry was amazed. "Why does she want to kill me?"

Hagrid stopped crying and looked at the princess, his huge chest heaving up and down. "Yer a wizard, Harry."

"I'm…I'm a what?"

"A wizard, and maybe a powerful one. That's why the queen wants to kill yer." Hagrid suddenly stood up and made a wild gesture for Harry to leave. "Go! Run away as fast as yer can…into the forest! Never come back or the queen'll find yer!"

Harry was terrified. He put both hands on his Firebolt and zoomed away at maximum speed, dodging trees and animals here and there. He flew and flew until it got very dark and he was getting hungry. Suddenly he saw a little crooked house before him with a lopsided sign near the entrance which read: The Burrow.

TO BE CONTINUED~~~